say goodbye 

and i told him in my dream i miss you i miss you

but who you are now is not who you were

when i knew you the best

and i asked him to let me go

and he smiled again at me and said


and i laughed and i cried 

and i pray i never see him again 

because to have the tranquil refuge of my dream 

invaded by his presence, once loved,

is just another waking hell
please let this be the last time i see you

strangers know my work story

like, not from my blog, but from gossip, so word gets around. 

I have been triggered and in panic mode for several hours because somebody told me to just “get over” the traumatic lay off I had in November that caused me to lose everything. It’s like, telling somebody they don’t look sick when mental illness and “invisible illness” is… invisible. 

The consequence of me being laid off is that I am bursting with bitterness for this company. It hasn’t consumed my life. While I attempt to build back up, to have a stranger tell me to just get over it, really is a downer. Like, do you think I’d dwell on it if I knew NOT dwelling on it would make me ten million times better? I’d like to think I’m better than I was, and definitely in a better state of mind than self-loathing. 

I don’t know. I feel like I need to unfriend my friend who is mutual with this other person. All our interactions have been negative. I thought I was over my old job enough to be friends with her again, but maybe the mere fact that she works there is enough to keep the tension. 

On a more positive note, I guess I’m looking at graduate school. I’d like to move forward with that. I’m excited to keep looking. 

polaroids at harriet lake 

it was cloudy out but it did not rain, so that was good

went to lake Harriet in search of blossoming flowers at the rose garden, but none were to be found

we found a waterfall at the peace garden

and got some wonderful polaroids done with the Instax Mini (truely amazing)

here is me with the photographer Blair Moore

would definitely work with Blair again. I’ll share contact information at the end of this post. 

After reading Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (and some of Through the Looking Glass), and knowing Disney, these flowers always have faces. 

the husband and I enjoying a day outside without the risk of sunburn!


Photographer, Digital Artist, Cool Human

enter the realm of my mind

they say the way to my stomach is to feed me divinity

but what does it take to find the way to my mind?

my mind is like a cake and not everyone can bake, so you see the issue here is how to gain exposure to the vulnerability that quickly manifests itself;

dawdling around aimlessly like a limping child –

and it cries out in starvation for contact and knowledge but will not let anybody in

the dilemma here is that there are carved out crevices that belong to those who hold pieces of my heart while my heart is an empty cavity that’s bound to erupt, implode, causing my rib cage to splinter me

but wanting to know and wanting to be known are two separate primal drives:

the first will help enhance the second, but first I need to take a second

to figure out where i need to lay my sheets and remove my shoes and undo my hair and feel a peaceful “home”

it’s not all linear, unlike what i was taught so i am in the middle of a journey with no end until the end of my journey leaves me dead