Nobody seems to take me seriously. I have spent the past 3 weeks surrounded by urns. I can name them off, picture them in my head, and have spent hours and hours memorizing their SKU numbers. And when I say that you shouldn’t spite me because I know which urn I can hide your charred remains in, you laugh.
But not for much longer.
My only issue may be the sizing. Urns come in XL to XS sizes (you know, for fatties like me and infants). I can always figure that out. The time and effort I put into your demise will be the nicest thing anybody has done for you.
Watch your back.